Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Told You So


July 16

     So before coming here, Gracie had mentioned that she would challenge us at one point or another by pushing us to step out of our comfort zone a bit. Well, today was that day for me. During our mentor time we talked more about how we can only do as much as we limit ourselves to, then along with that (I forgot how she got the idea) Gracie tasked Jennifer and I to take Peggy (one of the team members from Alabama) out into the village in the afternoon and find at least 3 families for the feeding project without Evelin, meaning we wouldn’t have a translator. That meant we were going to have to just trust that we would be able to do it by God’s power. I was laughing at first but it was more like nervous laughter. I was in shock…I was thinking, “you want us to do what?” I was looking in the mirror seeing nothing but my weaknesses…my limitations. Gracie had more confidence in us than I had for myself. I was having a very “human Veronica” moment. It’s not that I couldn’t trust God, ‘cuz if that were the case I would have just refused right then and there. I just couldn’t help feeling anxious about it. At first I was planning to write down all the possible phrases that I might need to use and then have Evelin translate them so that I could use that when we went out. But then something in my head said “nope! That’s cheating.” Haha! I mean it’s not literally cheating, but it’s missing the point of the whole experience. So that plan went down the drain. Then I told myself, “ok, well I’ll just review some basic pronouns and words” and I was even piecing some phrases in my head. As I was doing that though, I still wondered “Does preparing even just a little bit still mean that I am not trusting God?” So I told myself that I was just going to go with what I had and pray for a miracle!

     I was in a rather skeptical mood as we walked out the gate, which I’m ashamed to admit. I was literally having an argument with myself in my head. “So many times you have seen the Lord’s faithfulness and yet you are still having trouble trusting him?” I was pretty upset with myself. But as we approached the first house, which Gracie recommended we start with, I felt a nudge, like God was saying, “Go for it and let me show you what you can do” (or more like, what I can do through you). We introduced ourselves as “practicantes de Gracie” and the lady at the door welcomed us into her home. Her husband and 3 of her 5 children were with her. By the grace of God we were able to communicate with them and get all the information we needed. We asked if they knew any other families that needed help and their 9-year old daughter gladly took us to another family across the street. The father of the house was home and he had a little trouble understanding at first what exactly it was that we were doing, but after a second try and with the help of the little girl, we had a break through! What was impressive and very encouraging to us was that he told us that he would rather that we help a different family who is more in need than they are. Who does that these days? Not to mention in a country where poverty is very evident. He pointed us to the family next door, a family of 8, both parents unemployed, so we got their information and one of their younger ones, Ruth, led us to another needy family that lived quite a ways down the road. So we then had Ruth and the 9 year old and her little sister from the first family walking with us and guiding us around town. They were God’s little angels. When we finally made it to the house Ruth was leading us to, there was an old couple sitting in front of the house, both in their 80’s. Again, we introduced ourselves as Gracie’s interns and they allowed us to enter. They were probably the most challenging ones to communicate with. We tried to tell them why we were there but they didn’t seem to understand us. All the sudden, the elderly woman started ranting, I could barely understand a single thing she was saying, but from what I gathered, she sounded like she had a lot of resentment about a lot of things. I was starting to feel a little helpless, but once again, God came to the rescue!  A lady who lived next door came in and helped us explain things better to the old couple. Turns out the old lady was blind and a bit senile while the husband was also visually impaired. The more we talked to this lady, the more we found out that she was also in need. She was 34 years old, with 4 children, no job, no support from her husband who is currently stuck in the states. Her youngest daughter was actually born in Maryland. She has a house, but the conditions are not livable, so she has to live with her father. She was very kind and helpful though. She also explained to us that this old couple was very much in need of help. They have been very sickly and have no one to take care of them, so we made sure we got their names and put them on our list.

     By the time we said our goodbye’s we had already been out for an hour, so we decided to make our way home. We stopped by the pulperia to get the girls some drinks. Jen and I pooled our money together to get them 3 cokes but we were short 2 lempiras. I started to pull out my dictionary to look up the word “share” because it looked like we only had enough for two, but then Ruth pulled out 2 lemps from her own pocket and gave it to us…a simple gesture, but it had such a great impact on us. These little girls were anything but greedy.

     After taking them back home, we parted ways and headed back. As we were walking along the road, Ruth caught up with us and said that there was one more family that we could talk to right across the street. So she led us to them and sure enough they were another candidate. A mother of 4, no income, single parent…we put her on our list, said our goodbye’s and continued on home.

     So after that whole experience I felt pretty ridiculous for worrying so much. We set out to find at least 3 families in one hour, but look what happened. We came home with 5 of the 6 families we had talked to. God did exceedingly more than I imagined. He still used me in my weakness. It was a very humbling experience indeed. He completely turned my world around and once again revealed His power and faithfulness. I could just see God looking down at me with a gentle smile saying, “Told you so.” I still have a lot to learn, but I’m so glad I have such a patient and gracious teacher. He’s still teaching me a lot about trust. I admit that I was pretty disappointed with myself, but I do realize that true faith takes practice and it is strengthened as God brings you through one challenge at a time.

     Being here had definitely challenged my faith to various extents, but I’m blessed to have a Heavenly Father who remains faithful even in times when I fall short.

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