His Heart in the Midst of Suffering

July 10

     Not much went on this morning. We were supposed to have English class with the girls but Milagro and Alicia had to go back to the clinic with Gracie, so we decided to postpone class till later. Once they got back we had just enough time to make the sandwiches for the high school class. I’m actually really enjoying teaching the class. Even thought I still wish I could communicate with them better, I still have fun just being around them. They remind me a lot of the kids from the summer camps we would have back home in Cebu. I really hope though that the things we are teaching them are meaning something to them and sinking in to some extent. I noticed a slight improvement in Franklin’s behavior today, so that was good to see. God’s not going to give up on this kid and I’m praying that He changes his heart. The thing that’s great about this class is that I’m also learning and being reminded of a lot of good things myself.

     After eating lunch we had our English class with the girls. I think this is the one class that they rarely give us any trouble. I guess a possible reason could be because it takes their mind off of their pain and also because they seem to enjoy what they are learning. We work on learning 20 new vocabulary words every week, which means I do too…haha! So it works perfectly both ways.

     When class was over, we decided to go out into the village for a while to look for families for the coming mission team’s feeding project. That was quite an adventure! We started out by asking the man at one of the pulperia’s if he knew of any needy families in the village. He took us to his mother because she knows a lot of people in the village. Coincidently, just as she had mentioned one lady in particular, the said lady had just passed us. This lady had 9 children, 7 of which lived with her, no income, and no support from her husband. Long story short, we called her over and she showed us where she lived and we also got to meet her 74 year old father who lived right next door. They didn’t have much at all, and with 7 little mouths to feed, you can imagine how hard it is for them to get by. The 74 year old man is a carpenter and he builds furniture, but he said he hardly makes much from that because business is pretty hard these days.

     Another lady who were introduced to by the pulperia, Maria and her 12 year old son, tagged a long and led us to another lady she knew of who lived in that area as well. This lady she brought us to had 5 children, and no support from her husband who was now in the states.

     It just so happened that while we were there, we came across a lady who lived in that same area. She asked us if we were Gracie’s interns and referred to Evelin as “the psychologist” (come to find out she has been talking to Gracie on the phone for the past few days), and she was asking Evelin if she could try to talk to her daughter. This 13 year old daughter of hers had run away with a boy who was also a drug addict. She had been with him since October of last year and they had just gotten her back because she had called her mother saying that the boy was trying to get her to do things that she didn’t want to do (it’s a very complicated situation), but she was being very stubborn and resistant. So Evelin went and spent about an hour talking to the girl and her parents while Jen, Bruce (Gracie’s nephew) and I stayed behind with the other ladies and their families. I felt a little bad because neither of us could really talk to any of them. One of the mothers must have thought I was Honduran because she was talking to me as if I could understand her, and in my attempt to communicate I ended up saying something like, “I’m sorry, I can’t speak Spanish because I’m from the states.” HAHAHA! Not long after when I realized what I had said I busted out laughing at myself.

     Once Evelin had finished talking to the girl, we went to go see where Maria and her son lived. As we were about to leave, the family we had interviewed gave us a bag of corn and some fruit to take with us. How humbling is that? Here’s a family who hardly has much, and yet they still have it in their hearts to give US a portion of what little they have.

     Maria’s story was pretty heart breaking as well. She’s a mother of five, but 4 of her children live with her mother. She just lost her husband two months ago to cancer and has no income. Evelin had asked her if they had something to eat that night, to which they said no. She couldn’t stand leaving knowing that we left them hungry, so we went to the nearby pulperia and she bought them some food. I’ve been really blessed and encouraged seeing her serve her own people. God has planted a seed of compassion in her that has been so evident these past few weeks and it’s been a great blessing to see.

     We finally made it home. Gracie was blown away by the fact that we had run into that lady that she has been on the phone with for the past two days…Coincidence? I’d say that was a God thing right there. Apparently a lot went on while we were gone. Karla got really upset about something and threw a fit. Some of the girls aren’t getting along very well and poor Alejandro is still sick…

     As you can tell, today was a very full day with a lot to process and take in. Hence, the very lengthy post, probably my longest one yet. But this is reality. I’m not here on a summer vacation. We’re dealing with broken people in a broken world on a daily basis and as overwhelming as it can be sometimes, I have no regrets being here. Though I also grew up in a third world country myself seeing very similar things that does not mean I have become completely desensitized. In fact, my heart still breaks every time. But seeing things like this is always a good wake-up call. Not only do you realize the extent to which God has blessed you, but your eyes are opened to the oppression and the deep hunger in the world. You go beyond your own tiny little box that you so frequently get trapped in.

     Many times I still can’t understand why there is such an imbalance of those who have much and those who hardly have anything at all…or why some people have to suffer more than others. I don’t think it’s God’s desire for those of us who are more fortunate to feel guilty about these things, but rather because we are so blessed, He wants us to bless others in return. Christ’s love compels and it is from this love that we are able to give as we have been given…forgive as we have been forgive…and love as we have been loved.