A Successful Operation

August 13

This is it, time to say goodbye and it was anything but easy. I gave the girls their cards and we took some last minute pictures. Then came the hard part, the goodbye hugs…one by one…it was hard trying to hold back the tears. Alicia went and hid in the family room. I guess she’s worse than I am. I didn’t want to leave without telling her goodbye though, so I quickly ran in to give her a hug, by then she already had tears in her eyes. I had managed to hold back mine to that point, but once we were in the car and I saw my babies waving bye-bye from the gate, that’s when I gave in. I’m not really one to cry, especially in front of other people, but once we drove off, I couldn’t help it.

The first few minutes of the drive I was rather quiet and pensive as I let the reality of us leaving sink in. One of the things Heydi said to me after I hugged her goodbye was “come back.” There’s really no way for me to know for sure if I ever will.

At this point, I’m closing one chapter of my life and starting a new one. I keep thinking about how weird it’s going to be when I get back to Abilene. Everyone else will be heading back to their classrooms, but I guess I’m done with that for now. Next on my list is looking for a job and trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. I know my heart has always been in ministry and if the Lord wills it, then that’s what I hope to be doing in the near future. As far as where I will be, there’s no telling. For the meantime, I’ve decided to start in Abilene and see what the Lord has for me there. If the Lord calls me back to Honduras, then I guess I’ll have to keep working on my Spanish. If He calls me home to the Philippines, I’ll let Him lead the way. But what if He wants me to stay in the states? What then? If you had asked me that question a year ago, I would have straight up said no – I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life in the US. But over this past year, God’s been teaching me that ministry is about putting God and others first. The mission field doesn’t have to be in a foreign country, it’s wherever you are. After all that I have experienced being a missionary kid in a third world country, and especially after my time in Honduras working with victims of violence and abuse, I don’t think I would be ok with simply living a comfortable life. As part of taking up our cross and following Jesus, I believe we are called to step out of that. I’m not saying that we have to live as those who are suffering, but we have to be willing to live among them. So whether or not I stay in the US, the issue is not really where you are, rather its how you choose to live your life. When you give your life to the Lord, that’s a lifetime commitment. Are you going to merely set aside one day a week to serve Him or will you make Him a part of everyday? Are you going to keep your blessings to yourself or are you going to learn to give even when you feel like you don’t have much? Are you going to be a doubting Thomas and believe only what you see or will you trust and still choose to love the unlovable even when you have yet to see the fruit of your seeds?

When I say that I have learned a lot from this internship and that my faith has been challenged in various ways, I’m not kidding. I’ve definitely reflected a lot on how I have been living my life and thinking about how God wants me to live. As I had mentioned before, with the girls that we were ministering to, when all was said and done, what mattered most was how we chose to love them even in times when they were really hard to love. That’s what they heart of Christ is all about.

Before making this trip, I anticipated this experience would compare to getting a heart transplant in the sense that I would learn to love not with my own heart, but with the heart of Christ…and you know what? I think it was a successful operation.

Our Last Full Day

August 12

So it’s our last full day here at the mission. It’s hard to believe, but I imagine leaving tomorrow will be a bittersweet moment. The day started with a pleasant surprise. Evelin wanted to make biscuits! So I helped her with that and we had a very tasty breakfast.

We had our last mentor time with Gracie. Papi has been joining in too these past few days. It was a very blessed moment as we each shared what we have learned and will take from this experience. Gracie and Lee also gave us a lot of encouraging words and told us what they hope this experience had taught us. Toward the end of our mentor time, Mercedes arrived and she too had some words of encouragement for us and she prayed over us. We were very blessed by that. Mercedes is such a wonderful woman with an amazing heart for the Lord. I’ve been so encouraged and blessed to know her and I will miss her a lot.

When mentor time was through, the girls went to have Bible class with Mercedes, Evelin and Miriam went to Talanga to go food shopping, so Jen and I took care of our own stuff. As soon and Evelin and Miriam got back, I volunteered to make spaghetti for lunch. It turned out alright considering it was a “no-meat” sauce.

The girls were busy the rest of the afternoon with preparations for our despidida. It was all going to be a surprise so we had no idea what to expect. So while they were busy with that, we took care of watching the babies. Evelin and I had fun having a little water fight with the boys. Initially, we were just going to clean them up since they were all covered in spaghetti sauce, but considering how much these boys love to play in the water, we couldn’t resist. Throughout the afternoon the interns and I took turns visiting with Gracie and going over our individual assessments. It’s always interesting to hear other people’s perspective of your performance. And it’s also really humbling when they point out the potentials and the strengths that they see in you. I was very encouraged though by what she had to say and she helped me see the different areas where I have grown and things that I still need to work on. Not long after I had my assessment with Gracie, Evelin’s parents arrived; they were joining us for the despidida and so was Mercedes.

The girls did a very good job with decorating and planning the whole thing, and Miriam cooked a very tasty meal for us. We had a good time talking and sharing stories while we ate. Once we had finished eating, Gracie asked each of the girls including Mercedes and the nannies to tell us what they were thankful for. Some of the things they said were along the lines of, “thank you for the things you taught us” and “thank you for your friendship.” Alicia even acknowledged that she was very disrespectful at times and she apologized. She did say though that for the times that she did pay attention, she’s thankful for the things we shared.

Sometimes it’s hard to put feelings into words; other times there’s too much to say. For the girls, they’re still a bit hesitant when it comes to expressing themselves in words, all the more in front of other people, but their actions always speak louder than their words. After they all had their turn, they had a special gift for each of us. Gracie and Papi also had something for us along with our certificates. Finally each of the girls took turns praying over us, which was pretty special. Gracie said that was the first time they had ever done that. Personally, I was very touched. I may not have understood most of what they were saying, but something about their willingness and eagerness even to pray for us one by one was a very meaningful gesture.

We had a good time taking a bunch of pictures after all that. I had also promised the girls that I would have pictures printed for them so we spent quite a bit of time going through 2 months worth of pictures. When all was said and done, it was night night time for everyone else but me. I still had a bunch of cards to write, and by a bunch I mean like 8, but I usually like to take my time when it comes to writing people notes. Each of these girls are special and unique, so I couldn’t simply write the same note for all of them; also because my relationship with each of them is different as well. Each note took some thought, reflection, and prayer. Your know how earlier I was saying that sometimes there’s just too much you want to say but then you can’t really put them into words? Well, this was one of those times. I ended up staying awake till about 2 in the morning. It was worth the time though because I really wanted to encourage the girls with some parting words. Though I did have to write in English, I’m thankful Gracie can translate it for them. I wanted them to have something tangible that could remind them of our friendship, which is also why I got them the bracelets from the valley.

Tomorrow is going to be a hard day for all of us. I’m not good at saying goodbye and I don’t doubt it’s going to be tough on everyone else too. I have a lot of mixed feelings about leaving, but we’ll save that for tomorrow.

The Valley of Angels

August 11

Week #7, done! We’re down to our last 2 days, but today we finally got to go to the Valle de Angeles (Valley of Angels)! We had originally planned to leave at 9:00, but we had to wait till Miriam and Mari arrived and Mari didn’t make it till past 11, so we were a bit behind schedule. Jen got a little restless because she’s been wanting to go to the valley pretty much since she got here. But we eventually made it to the valley at around 1:30 and have an awesome lunch! I got my fried fish! Yey! Head, tail, and all! I was quite satisfied. It doesn’t take much to make me happy, really. Then, it was shopping time!! We spent a whole hour in the first store we went in, mainly because it had so much stuff! By then, we only had about an hour and a half left to look around. I didn’t really buy much, I’m usually content with just looking around, but I finally got my Honduras jersey and I got bracelets for all the girls. We had a lot of fun though both exploring and sharing stories with Gracie and Papi in the car. We had a lot of good laughs.

It was raining pretty hard when we made it back. The streets in Talanga were pretty flooded. The girls and I were like, “hey! It’s just like Abilene!” haha! Everyone was glad to see us when we got back. Evelin and I watched Mary Popins with some of the girls in the family room, but she quickly fell asleep. We ended up not finishing the movie and called it a night. We had a really good time though.

Newborns at Hospital Eskwela

August 10

Today was another full day spent in the city. Moises needed to have the rest of his stitches removed, and we were also going to distribute baby clothes, diapers, blankets and such to the new borns and their mothers at the public hospital. Gracie wanted us to be ready to leave by 6 am (no later than 6:30) which meant getting up at 5, so we started our day pretty early. We made it to the hospital at around 8:30 and took care of Moises’ stitches first. He’s pretty well known by the doctors and nurses there because of his time there during his surgery to remove the tumor. Considering the conditions and limited resources at this hospital, it’s a miracle that he survived and that he has had such a good recovery. He’s our miracle baby.

Once that was all taken care of, we headed up to the ward with our boxes of goodie bags from the mommy’s and their babies. The first room we entered had a mother who had just lost her baby. Gracie asked Evelin to try and talk to her and maybe comfort her and encourage her a bit. After we had distributed the bags to the other mothers in the room, we all prayed for her, then proceeded to the next room. For every room that we entered, Gracie took note of each of the mothers’ names, where they were from and how old they were. It was striking to see how there were quite a few girls who were only about 16 or 17, even a 14 year-old! There were also a number of women who had been abandoned by the baby’s father. The conditions of the ward were also quite sad, and I could say the same for the delivery room and all the restrictions and limitations.

When a woman is in labor, she is suited up for the birthing and placed in a room where there are chairs lined up against the wall and she waits for her turn. I didn’t get to see the actual delivery room, but Jen did and she said that it was a big room with about 7 or 8 tables lined up side by side. Once in the delivery room, no parent, spouse, friend or relative is allowed to accompany the mother. After she has given birth and is placed in the ward, her relatives or friends can only come to see her during visitation hour which is from 2-3 in the afternoon. Until then, these mothers have absolutely nothing for themselves or their new born babies. No clothes, no toiletries, no diapers, no nothing. Some if not all of the mothers had their babies wrapped in sheets that were pulled of their bed. Some of the babies were even covered in their own mess because they didn’t have any diapers. That being their condition, these mothers were very blessed and grateful for the goodie bags. We were also very blessed by that experience. It was heart breaking to see how hard it is for them, but I am very thankful that God provided the means and opportunity to help them.

A Hug Worth More than Words

August 9

It’s Papi appreciation day today! But not till later tonight when Evelin gets back from Teguc. She left early this morning for her visa renewal interview. During our mentor time Gracie asked Jen and I to kind of evaluate and give our observations of the staff and their performance. She was going to meet with them one on one later on in the day to give them a little feedback and some reminders concerning their responsibilities. There’s also a new nanny who has been here since Saturday who is on a trial week to see if she is good for the job. At this point though, based on what we have observed, I think Gracie is going to have to find someone else. Not to be harsh or anything like that, but you kind of have to be picky when it comes to hiring people to work here considering the type of ministry this is.

After lunch, Gracie got a text from Evelin saying that she got her visa! Woohooo! We were all pretty excited about that. Praise the Lord! Two o’clock rolled around and I had quite a bit of cooking to do for the evening, so I decided to get started on that. I like to take my time. So I was in the kitchen pretty much the rest of the afternoon. I made Biko and wrapped it in banana leaves, taco soup, and corn bread, and I thoroughly enjoyed my time alone in the kitchen. We had the comedor set up for all of us to eat together. Evelin was running a little late, so we had to start without her. Alicia stepped up and volunteered to lead the prayer. After our meal, each of the girls had cards for Papi which Gracie translated for him one by one. He was quite surprised, but very touched and blessed. Papi does a  lot of behind the scenes work here at the mission, but he has also been such a good example of a loving father to the kids and the girls, so we just wanted to bless him and let him know how much he is appreciated.

Later that night we had a “pre-departure” moment with Heydi. I entered the patio and saw Jen hugging her because she was crying. She was already thinking about us leaving in a few days and how much she was going to miss us. I gave her a hug, but it was like no other hug that she had given me before. She didn’t want to let me go and she just wanted to be held. So I just held her tight and told her that I would always love her. My heart was breaking; when the time for us to leave comes, it’s going to be really hard to say goodbye. But it was at that moment that I realized that we really have been able to reach these girls’ hearts. We may have wrestled with them from time to time and had moments when we felt like they weren’t getting anything out of the things we try to tell them, but while I was standing there just holding her, I knew that we had touched her heart. It’s not about whether or not they participate in class, or whether or not we see a drastic change in their behavior…when it comes down to it, what matters the most is whether or not we were able to show them that they are worth loving. There’s more that I wish I could have said to her, but in that moment, a hug was worth more than anything I could have said.

Never too old for Disney

August 8

It’s movie night day!! Yey! But of course that’s not till later…Today was actually another food shopping day, so Evelin and Leslie took care of that while Jen and I had the girls write cards and make drawings for papi appreciation day tomorrow. After lunch Jen and I went with Evelin to Talanga to take care of some errands. Unfortunately, in the middle of all of that , I witnessed a dog get run over…not exactly the pritiest sight…poor puppy.

When dinner was over the girls and I decided that we were in the mood for some Disney, so we watched the Lion King AND the Aristocats! Watching Disney movies always brings back childhood memories, but apparently new discoveries too. Evelin finally figured out why Scar from the lion king is named scar. Haha! We thought that was pretty funny. But yes, Disney movies never get old, unless they’re still on VHS…Do they even still make VHS players? Haha!

Last Day at the High School

August 7

It’s Tuesday, and it’s our last day at the high school. Everything prior to that though was a little crazy. I was in charge of making lunch, but since we were going to be gone at noon for the high school class, I had to start cooking a bit early. Not that it was a problem ‘cuz you know how I love being in the kitchen. It was actually fairly peaceful the first hour or so. I had a little time to myself in the kitchen…but then things got a little crazy. One of the nannies had to go take Jen and Evelin’s stool samples to the clinic. Dulce (the other nanny) was bust taking care of Ericka and Ivannia since Claudia was sick and she couldn’t come in. So no one was keeping an eye on the boys. Evelin had them in the kitchen for a while while she prepared the sandwiches for the high schoolers, but they started getting into stuff, so I pretty much sent them out. Let’s face it, the kitchen is no place for 3 toddlers. Evelin could sense that I was a little irritated…she thought it was pretty funny though how I reacted. Yes, we are quite different in many ways, but it’s a good thing we both pretty much know what those differences are. Despite all the craziness though, we actually made it to the school on time, earlier than usual in fact. The class went well; I ended up teaching again since I had already prepared for the assigned chapter last week. Jen was supposed to teach the next chapter but we ran out of time. It was sad having to say goodbye to them, but we gave them our names so they could look us up on facebook and hopefully keep in touch with us that way. We got hugs from some of them as we left, Franklin being one. I’ve seen quite a change in him compared to the first few weeks, and it’s been a joy to see. I really do hope that God continues to work in all of their hearts and that the seeds we have planted will grow and bear fruit in due time. I’m going to miss those kids.

The rest of the afternoon was spent playing with the kiddos. Gracie got back at around 4. She looked well rested and it sounded like she had a good time. We talked to her a little bit after dinner about plans for the rest of the week and what all went on while she was gone…it’s amazing what a few days of rest can do and I’m really glad that she got to take a break.

It rained pretty hard for a good while. My tummy wasn’t feeling too good either. I guess I spoke too soon when I said I was glad that I hadn’t gotten sick. Hopefully this is nothing too bad though. I didn’t want to crawl into bed and throw up all over myself just yet, so I stayed up and had some quiet time till I felt good enough to go to climb into bed. Hopefully I won’t throw up and I’ll feel better in the morning.