A Successful Operation

August 13

This is it, time to say goodbye and it was anything but easy. I gave the girls their cards and we took some last minute pictures. Then came the hard part, the goodbye hugs…one by one…it was hard trying to hold back the tears. Alicia went and hid in the family room. I guess she’s worse than I am. I didn’t want to leave without telling her goodbye though, so I quickly ran in to give her a hug, by then she already had tears in her eyes. I had managed to hold back mine to that point, but once we were in the car and I saw my babies waving bye-bye from the gate, that’s when I gave in. I’m not really one to cry, especially in front of other people, but once we drove off, I couldn’t help it.

The first few minutes of the drive I was rather quiet and pensive as I let the reality of us leaving sink in. One of the things Heydi said to me after I hugged her goodbye was “come back.” There’s really no way for me to know for sure if I ever will.

At this point, I’m closing one chapter of my life and starting a new one. I keep thinking about how weird it’s going to be when I get back to Abilene. Everyone else will be heading back to their classrooms, but I guess I’m done with that for now. Next on my list is looking for a job and trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. I know my heart has always been in ministry and if the Lord wills it, then that’s what I hope to be doing in the near future. As far as where I will be, there’s no telling. For the meantime, I’ve decided to start in Abilene and see what the Lord has for me there. If the Lord calls me back to Honduras, then I guess I’ll have to keep working on my Spanish. If He calls me home to the Philippines, I’ll let Him lead the way. But what if He wants me to stay in the states? What then? If you had asked me that question a year ago, I would have straight up said no – I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life in the US. But over this past year, God’s been teaching me that ministry is about putting God and others first. The mission field doesn’t have to be in a foreign country, it’s wherever you are. After all that I have experienced being a missionary kid in a third world country, and especially after my time in Honduras working with victims of violence and abuse, I don’t think I would be ok with simply living a comfortable life. As part of taking up our cross and following Jesus, I believe we are called to step out of that. I’m not saying that we have to live as those who are suffering, but we have to be willing to live among them. So whether or not I stay in the US, the issue is not really where you are, rather its how you choose to live your life. When you give your life to the Lord, that’s a lifetime commitment. Are you going to merely set aside one day a week to serve Him or will you make Him a part of everyday? Are you going to keep your blessings to yourself or are you going to learn to give even when you feel like you don’t have much? Are you going to be a doubting Thomas and believe only what you see or will you trust and still choose to love the unlovable even when you have yet to see the fruit of your seeds?

When I say that I have learned a lot from this internship and that my faith has been challenged in various ways, I’m not kidding. I’ve definitely reflected a lot on how I have been living my life and thinking about how God wants me to live. As I had mentioned before, with the girls that we were ministering to, when all was said and done, what mattered most was how we chose to love them even in times when they were really hard to love. That’s what they heart of Christ is all about.

Before making this trip, I anticipated this experience would compare to getting a heart transplant in the sense that I would learn to love not with my own heart, but with the heart of Christ…and you know what? I think it was a successful operation.

Our Last Full Day

August 12

So it’s our last full day here at the mission. It’s hard to believe, but I imagine leaving tomorrow will be a bittersweet moment. The day started with a pleasant surprise. Evelin wanted to make biscuits! So I helped her with that and we had a very tasty breakfast.

We had our last mentor time with Gracie. Papi has been joining in too these past few days. It was a very blessed moment as we each shared what we have learned and will take from this experience. Gracie and Lee also gave us a lot of encouraging words and told us what they hope this experience had taught us. Toward the end of our mentor time, Mercedes arrived and she too had some words of encouragement for us and she prayed over us. We were very blessed by that. Mercedes is such a wonderful woman with an amazing heart for the Lord. I’ve been so encouraged and blessed to know her and I will miss her a lot.

When mentor time was through, the girls went to have Bible class with Mercedes, Evelin and Miriam went to Talanga to go food shopping, so Jen and I took care of our own stuff. As soon and Evelin and Miriam got back, I volunteered to make spaghetti for lunch. It turned out alright considering it was a “no-meat” sauce.

The girls were busy the rest of the afternoon with preparations for our despidida. It was all going to be a surprise so we had no idea what to expect. So while they were busy with that, we took care of watching the babies. Evelin and I had fun having a little water fight with the boys. Initially, we were just going to clean them up since they were all covered in spaghetti sauce, but considering how much these boys love to play in the water, we couldn’t resist. Throughout the afternoon the interns and I took turns visiting with Gracie and going over our individual assessments. It’s always interesting to hear other people’s perspective of your performance. And it’s also really humbling when they point out the potentials and the strengths that they see in you. I was very encouraged though by what she had to say and she helped me see the different areas where I have grown and things that I still need to work on. Not long after I had my assessment with Gracie, Evelin’s parents arrived; they were joining us for the despidida and so was Mercedes.

The girls did a very good job with decorating and planning the whole thing, and Miriam cooked a very tasty meal for us. We had a good time talking and sharing stories while we ate. Once we had finished eating, Gracie asked each of the girls including Mercedes and the nannies to tell us what they were thankful for. Some of the things they said were along the lines of, “thank you for the things you taught us” and “thank you for your friendship.” Alicia even acknowledged that she was very disrespectful at times and she apologized. She did say though that for the times that she did pay attention, she’s thankful for the things we shared.

Sometimes it’s hard to put feelings into words; other times there’s too much to say. For the girls, they’re still a bit hesitant when it comes to expressing themselves in words, all the more in front of other people, but their actions always speak louder than their words. After they all had their turn, they had a special gift for each of us. Gracie and Papi also had something for us along with our certificates. Finally each of the girls took turns praying over us, which was pretty special. Gracie said that was the first time they had ever done that. Personally, I was very touched. I may not have understood most of what they were saying, but something about their willingness and eagerness even to pray for us one by one was a very meaningful gesture.

We had a good time taking a bunch of pictures after all that. I had also promised the girls that I would have pictures printed for them so we spent quite a bit of time going through 2 months worth of pictures. When all was said and done, it was night night time for everyone else but me. I still had a bunch of cards to write, and by a bunch I mean like 8, but I usually like to take my time when it comes to writing people notes. Each of these girls are special and unique, so I couldn’t simply write the same note for all of them; also because my relationship with each of them is different as well. Each note took some thought, reflection, and prayer. Your know how earlier I was saying that sometimes there’s just too much you want to say but then you can’t really put them into words? Well, this was one of those times. I ended up staying awake till about 2 in the morning. It was worth the time though because I really wanted to encourage the girls with some parting words. Though I did have to write in English, I’m thankful Gracie can translate it for them. I wanted them to have something tangible that could remind them of our friendship, which is also why I got them the bracelets from the valley.

Tomorrow is going to be a hard day for all of us. I’m not good at saying goodbye and I don’t doubt it’s going to be tough on everyone else too. I have a lot of mixed feelings about leaving, but we’ll save that for tomorrow.

The Valley of Angels

August 11

Week #7, done! We’re down to our last 2 days, but today we finally got to go to the Valle de Angeles (Valley of Angels)! We had originally planned to leave at 9:00, but we had to wait till Miriam and Mari arrived and Mari didn’t make it till past 11, so we were a bit behind schedule. Jen got a little restless because she’s been wanting to go to the valley pretty much since she got here. But we eventually made it to the valley at around 1:30 and have an awesome lunch! I got my fried fish! Yey! Head, tail, and all! I was quite satisfied. It doesn’t take much to make me happy, really. Then, it was shopping time!! We spent a whole hour in the first store we went in, mainly because it had so much stuff! By then, we only had about an hour and a half left to look around. I didn’t really buy much, I’m usually content with just looking around, but I finally got my Honduras jersey and I got bracelets for all the girls. We had a lot of fun though both exploring and sharing stories with Gracie and Papi in the car. We had a lot of good laughs.

It was raining pretty hard when we made it back. The streets in Talanga were pretty flooded. The girls and I were like, “hey! It’s just like Abilene!” haha! Everyone was glad to see us when we got back. Evelin and I watched Mary Popins with some of the girls in the family room, but she quickly fell asleep. We ended up not finishing the movie and called it a night. We had a really good time though.

Newborns at Hospital Eskwela

August 10

Today was another full day spent in the city. Moises needed to have the rest of his stitches removed, and we were also going to distribute baby clothes, diapers, blankets and such to the new borns and their mothers at the public hospital. Gracie wanted us to be ready to leave by 6 am (no later than 6:30) which meant getting up at 5, so we started our day pretty early. We made it to the hospital at around 8:30 and took care of Moises’ stitches first. He’s pretty well known by the doctors and nurses there because of his time there during his surgery to remove the tumor. Considering the conditions and limited resources at this hospital, it’s a miracle that he survived and that he has had such a good recovery. He’s our miracle baby.

Once that was all taken care of, we headed up to the ward with our boxes of goodie bags from the mommy’s and their babies. The first room we entered had a mother who had just lost her baby. Gracie asked Evelin to try and talk to her and maybe comfort her and encourage her a bit. After we had distributed the bags to the other mothers in the room, we all prayed for her, then proceeded to the next room. For every room that we entered, Gracie took note of each of the mothers’ names, where they were from and how old they were. It was striking to see how there were quite a few girls who were only about 16 or 17, even a 14 year-old! There were also a number of women who had been abandoned by the baby’s father. The conditions of the ward were also quite sad, and I could say the same for the delivery room and all the restrictions and limitations.

When a woman is in labor, she is suited up for the birthing and placed in a room where there are chairs lined up against the wall and she waits for her turn. I didn’t get to see the actual delivery room, but Jen did and she said that it was a big room with about 7 or 8 tables lined up side by side. Once in the delivery room, no parent, spouse, friend or relative is allowed to accompany the mother. After she has given birth and is placed in the ward, her relatives or friends can only come to see her during visitation hour which is from 2-3 in the afternoon. Until then, these mothers have absolutely nothing for themselves or their new born babies. No clothes, no toiletries, no diapers, no nothing. Some if not all of the mothers had their babies wrapped in sheets that were pulled of their bed. Some of the babies were even covered in their own mess because they didn’t have any diapers. That being their condition, these mothers were very blessed and grateful for the goodie bags. We were also very blessed by that experience. It was heart breaking to see how hard it is for them, but I am very thankful that God provided the means and opportunity to help them.

A Hug Worth More than Words

August 9

It’s Papi appreciation day today! But not till later tonight when Evelin gets back from Teguc. She left early this morning for her visa renewal interview. During our mentor time Gracie asked Jen and I to kind of evaluate and give our observations of the staff and their performance. She was going to meet with them one on one later on in the day to give them a little feedback and some reminders concerning their responsibilities. There’s also a new nanny who has been here since Saturday who is on a trial week to see if she is good for the job. At this point though, based on what we have observed, I think Gracie is going to have to find someone else. Not to be harsh or anything like that, but you kind of have to be picky when it comes to hiring people to work here considering the type of ministry this is.

After lunch, Gracie got a text from Evelin saying that she got her visa! Woohooo! We were all pretty excited about that. Praise the Lord! Two o’clock rolled around and I had quite a bit of cooking to do for the evening, so I decided to get started on that. I like to take my time. So I was in the kitchen pretty much the rest of the afternoon. I made Biko and wrapped it in banana leaves, taco soup, and corn bread, and I thoroughly enjoyed my time alone in the kitchen. We had the comedor set up for all of us to eat together. Evelin was running a little late, so we had to start without her. Alicia stepped up and volunteered to lead the prayer. After our meal, each of the girls had cards for Papi which Gracie translated for him one by one. He was quite surprised, but very touched and blessed. Papi does a  lot of behind the scenes work here at the mission, but he has also been such a good example of a loving father to the kids and the girls, so we just wanted to bless him and let him know how much he is appreciated.

Later that night we had a “pre-departure” moment with Heydi. I entered the patio and saw Jen hugging her because she was crying. She was already thinking about us leaving in a few days and how much she was going to miss us. I gave her a hug, but it was like no other hug that she had given me before. She didn’t want to let me go and she just wanted to be held. So I just held her tight and told her that I would always love her. My heart was breaking; when the time for us to leave comes, it’s going to be really hard to say goodbye. But it was at that moment that I realized that we really have been able to reach these girls’ hearts. We may have wrestled with them from time to time and had moments when we felt like they weren’t getting anything out of the things we try to tell them, but while I was standing there just holding her, I knew that we had touched her heart. It’s not about whether or not they participate in class, or whether or not we see a drastic change in their behavior…when it comes down to it, what matters the most is whether or not we were able to show them that they are worth loving. There’s more that I wish I could have said to her, but in that moment, a hug was worth more than anything I could have said.

Never too old for Disney

August 8

It’s movie night day!! Yey! But of course that’s not till later…Today was actually another food shopping day, so Evelin and Leslie took care of that while Jen and I had the girls write cards and make drawings for papi appreciation day tomorrow. After lunch Jen and I went with Evelin to Talanga to take care of some errands. Unfortunately, in the middle of all of that , I witnessed a dog get run over…not exactly the pritiest sight…poor puppy.

When dinner was over the girls and I decided that we were in the mood for some Disney, so we watched the Lion King AND the Aristocats! Watching Disney movies always brings back childhood memories, but apparently new discoveries too. Evelin finally figured out why Scar from the lion king is named scar. Haha! We thought that was pretty funny. But yes, Disney movies never get old, unless they’re still on VHS…Do they even still make VHS players? Haha!

Last Day at the High School

August 7

It’s Tuesday, and it’s our last day at the high school. Everything prior to that though was a little crazy. I was in charge of making lunch, but since we were going to be gone at noon for the high school class, I had to start cooking a bit early. Not that it was a problem ‘cuz you know how I love being in the kitchen. It was actually fairly peaceful the first hour or so. I had a little time to myself in the kitchen…but then things got a little crazy. One of the nannies had to go take Jen and Evelin’s stool samples to the clinic. Dulce (the other nanny) was bust taking care of Ericka and Ivannia since Claudia was sick and she couldn’t come in. So no one was keeping an eye on the boys. Evelin had them in the kitchen for a while while she prepared the sandwiches for the high schoolers, but they started getting into stuff, so I pretty much sent them out. Let’s face it, the kitchen is no place for 3 toddlers. Evelin could sense that I was a little irritated…she thought it was pretty funny though how I reacted. Yes, we are quite different in many ways, but it’s a good thing we both pretty much know what those differences are. Despite all the craziness though, we actually made it to the school on time, earlier than usual in fact. The class went well; I ended up teaching again since I had already prepared for the assigned chapter last week. Jen was supposed to teach the next chapter but we ran out of time. It was sad having to say goodbye to them, but we gave them our names so they could look us up on facebook and hopefully keep in touch with us that way. We got hugs from some of them as we left, Franklin being one. I’ve seen quite a change in him compared to the first few weeks, and it’s been a joy to see. I really do hope that God continues to work in all of their hearts and that the seeds we have planted will grow and bear fruit in due time. I’m going to miss those kids.

The rest of the afternoon was spent playing with the kiddos. Gracie got back at around 4. She looked well rested and it sounded like she had a good time. We talked to her a little bit after dinner about plans for the rest of the week and what all went on while she was gone…it’s amazing what a few days of rest can do and I’m really glad that she got to take a break.

It rained pretty hard for a good while. My tummy wasn’t feeling too good either. I guess I spoke too soon when I said I was glad that I hadn’t gotten sick. Hopefully this is nothing too bad though. I didn’t want to crawl into bed and throw up all over myself just yet, so I stayed up and had some quiet time till I felt good enough to go to climb into bed. Hopefully I won’t throw up and I’ll feel better in the morning. 

8 Hands Full

August 6

And so begins the 1^st day of our last full week here at the mission site. This day next week, we’ll be all packed and ready to go. I’ll have to admit that I am quite ready to get back, but there’s going to be a lot of mixed emotions when we leave, especially since me and goodbye’s aren’t exactly the best of friends…

We took the boys to the doctor this morning. We didn’t get there though till around 10:30 because it took a while to get a taxi. We also had to wait a while because the doctor was out, so we went ahead and took care of some other stuff to kill time. Once we got back to the clinic the doctor had just arrived so the timing was perfect. We found out that the boys both had an infection and a parasite. Hopefully that’s not what Jen and Evelin have too. I’m really thankful though that I haven’t really had to deal with anything like that since I’ve been here, and hopefully it stays that way.

We got back to the mission site a bit later than we had anticipated. Evelin was supposed to help make lunch, so lunch was a little later than usual too, but it was worth the wait. She was teaching them how to make lasagna, and I’m a sucker for my pasta! Hehe

The rest of the afternoon was spent playing with the kiddos and what not. After dinner was when all the fun started (a little sarcasm implied). For starters, we had to give the boys their medicine. Diego was a piece of cake. It’s Alejandro who’s a handful, or more like 8 hands full. Guess how many people it takes to give this 1-year old his medicine? How’s 4 for you? And I’m not even kidding. We had one person holding his head, one to hold his arms, one to hold his legs, and one to pinch his nose and actually give him the medicine. He’s a very very strong willed child.

Once the wrestling match was over we got the boys ready for bed. Diego was ready to call it a night. He was falling asleep while I was changing him, so as soon as I laid him down he was pretty much out. Alejandro on the other hand was wide awake and he stayed up the whole time Jen and I were in his room talking to the nannies. We had fun talking to them though. We were joking around about a lot of silly things. Surprisingly, we were actually able to have a sensible conversation…well, sensible in terms of us being able to understand one another. It’s was funny ‘cuz Jen was showing them pictures of her family and they thought her adopted doctor dad was really handsome. They had a pretty funny reaction when she told them that he wasn’t married. Like I said, we talked about a lot of silly stuff, but we had a good time with them. It was a fun way to end the day.

It Ain't Over Till It's Over

August 5

Who would have thought that I could actually sit in one place for nearly the whole day without being interrupted? Well surprisingly, I was able to do just that. After Evelin got picked up by her parents, Jen and I grabbed our stuff and sat at the table out in the patio. We did everything from journaling, to catching up on blog posts, reading our Bibles, reviewing lesson plans…and we sat there…the whole morning and pretty much most of the afternoon too. Of course there were moments of taking care of babies here and there, but overall, things were pretty chill. I got a lot done and always feel a sense of accomplishment when I catch up with my stuff.

Evelin got back earlier than I was expecting, and not long after it was time for dinner. After dinner we had a some fun with the boys. I played tag with Diego and Alejandro, then we sang a bunch of kids’ songs with them.  Everything from Old McDonald to Father Abraham, you name it! The boys seemed to really enjoy it. I guess we were also kind of hoping that it would making them tired and it would be easier to put them to sleep, which was next on our agenda. Evelin went to take Diego to brush his teeth and Alejandro decided that he wanted to brush his too. So we got them all cleaned up and ready for bed. It took a while for us to put Ale and Diego to sleep, but once they feel asleep they were out! Putting them to sleep can be a task at times, but for the most part it’s a pretty sweet moment. There’s something about having a baby fall asleep in your arms or by your side that fills a special place in your heart…but the day wasn’t quite over yet. Some of the kiddos were sick so we had to call Gracie and ask her about taking them to the doctor the next day. It was a rather lengthy conversation, but to conclude, we’re taking Alejandro and Diego to the doctor in the morning. We also had to sterilize some bottles for their stool samples…ok, so maybe you didn’t really need to know that, but I’m just saying; it was another thing we had to take care of before we could call it a night. Not that I’m complaining, but this just goes to show that the day is never over till it’s over. Thankfully though, we eventually got things done and we’re always grateful that God faithfully sees us through each day.

Babies and Barney

August 4

     It’s time marker day! Week #6, checke! Done and counted for. I wasn’t exactly in my best mood this morning though. I had a couple of disturbing dreams last night and I really didn’t feel like doing anything. I guess I didn’t do a very good job at not letting that show. I was rather quiet and pensive…I didn’t blow up at anyone or anything like that, but I kept to myself. I was supposed to have class with the girls at 9, but there was too much going on. Evelin was busy with the payroll and talking the nannies and the psychologist. The girls were finishing up their homework that the psychologist had given them and they were making that their excuse to not have class. I couldn’t really do much without Evelin there to translate and I was already in a bad mood to begin with, so I just called off class altogether. I felt kind of bad for doing that, because again, it’s not about me, it’s about what’s best for the girls, but I felt like I needed to get my stuff together first. I may just try to have the class on Tuesday in the afternoon.

     Today was another one of those days though that I was thankful for babies. I got to hold Christopher and he was in a very silly, playful mood. He made me laugh a lot, which absolutely lit up my mood. It’s hard to keep a straight face when you have something so precious smiling back at you.

     After having lunch, Jen and I chilled a bit in the room while Evelin finalized her shopping list. Today was food shopping day, so Jen and I went with Evelin and Leslie to Talanga. We didn’t have the truck this time since Gracie isn’t back yet, so we just had to take a taxi. We made our usual stops – mercado, dispensa, the bread shop, but we did pretty good on time. When we got back to the house my first instinct was to retreat to the room, which I did. I pulled out the guitar and played a little bit. Not long after though, Evelin had some Barney music playing outside our room, so I decided to join her in her little fun time with the boys. We put our right hand in…and our right hand out…and shook ‘em all about! Haha! Gotta love Barney!

Faith in the Unseen

August 3

      TGIF!! Another week is just about over. It didn’t go by as fast as the previous week did, but we’re getting there. Gracie left this morning for her weekend off in Choluteca. She’ll be gone till either Monday or Tuesday. Either way though, I’m just glad she gets to take a break and get some much needed rest. Solitude time is so so crucial in ministry and without it, it’s so easy to get burned out.

I enjoyed myself in the kitchen today. I got to cook another Filipino dish (giniling) and stir fried veggies, but get this…Asian food without soy sauce! Whaaaaaaat?!! I know right? Haha! We were out, but with a few spices here and there, it turned out pretty good.

     After lunch, I had class with the girls. This was actually only the 3^rd time I have been able to have this class with them (sex and the soul of a woman). The reason for that being, I alternate weeks with Beverly and there was also one weekend when the Alabama team was here, and another weekend that Gracie decided to call off all the classes. That being the case, I decided to take a different approach with the class and tried to make it more personal for them. So I formulated a list of about 8 questions for them to answer. Their responses would then be our focus of discussion for the class tomorrow. For the first half of the class things went pretty smooth because all they were doing was writing down the questions. Things got a little difficult though once they actually had to start answering the questions. They were saying that they either couldn’t understand the questions, or they didn’t have an answer, which for these questions you are bound to have some kind of answer because they are purely subjective. They were also being a bit rude to Evelin while we were trying to explain things to them, so we told them that they could either answer them now, or do it later, but they have to have them done for class tomorrow. At least now they can’t say they didn’t have time to do their homework.

      Jen and I were talking about how neither of us had the motivation to continue with the classes. I know it sounds kind of selfish, because it’s not about us and how we feel about the classes, but then again, I still wonder sometimes if they’re really taking any of this stuff to heart. I know these classes are really difficult for them because they don’t like having to remember the things that happened to them, but for someone who really wants to heal, you would think that they would at least give it a chance. And I’m not saying the girls don’t try, because they sometimes do, but it’s hard to tell whether or not they’re really getting anything out of it. Sometimes I wish I could see what’s going on inside their head. I guess all of these concerns are the human side of me coming out, but my faith tells me that God is still working through all of this whether or not I can see it.

If You're Happy and You Know it, Smile!

August 2

     Today was a typical Thursday except for the fact that I asked Jen if she wouldn’t mind taking care of giving out the tests for the English class while I went over my lesson for the high school class. That took me a good two hours. Yes, I do like to be rather thorough when I prepare for my classes…it pays off though; at least I hope it does. I can’t speak for the students. Sometimes it’s still a challenge finding ways to help them grasp the concepts. A lot of the material is unfamiliar to them because hardly any of them grew up in the church. Plus the intended audience or at least the perspective presented in the book assumes that the readers are already Christians or have at least some background knowledge. Regardless though, I trust that God will work in their hearts. It was kind of sad to think that next week is our last week with them, but I really hope that our time with them has had some impact in their lives. Like everything else we do in ministry, we plant the seeds but God makes them grow.

     We were a bit behind schedule with the class. Evelin wasn’t feeling very well so we were a little slow with getting the lunches ready. Luckily the culture here is pretty flexible with time. The class went well and we even got to fool around with them a bit after class. I’m hoping we can have a little more fun with them next week before we leave. I see so much potential in these kids and I hope we can leave them with a sense of confidence in what God can do in their lives and through them.

     The rest of the day was pretty laid back. We played with the kiddos and spent some time with the girls. I’m always thankful for the joy that the babies bring to this place…gives things a good balance. Even during the hard days, the smiles on their sweet faces give you a reason to be happy.

Day Trip to Teguc

August 1

     Hello August! It’s a new month and today was a really long day in Tegucigalpa. We took Alejandro and Ivannia to the court in the morning. We left Talanga at around 7:45 and made it to court at around 9. The judge wasn’t there when we got there, so we had to wait. That included changing two diapers and feeding Ivannia, which took a good whole hour. She doesn’t like being fed, so feeding her is usually a wrestling match, but we had plenty of time to spare. We waited for the judge for a little over two hours, but she never showed up. So we decided to go for lunch. We went to Deny’s and Antonio, the assistant director of the national police, joined us. He’s practically family to the ministry. We were nearly through with our meal when Alejandro decided to throw up on Evelin and I…definitely wasn’t expecting that! So we got him cleaned up…and cleaned ourselves up too and left.

     Next stop was IHNFA to drop off Karla’s stuff. We were going to take Alejandro to see her, but we were told that we couldn’t until the judge had made a final decision on whether or not he stays with her or the ministry. I was hoping to see her, but then again I guess it was good that we didn’t because it probably would have caused a big commotion.

     After IHNFA, we made a trip to Price Smart to grab a few groceries. Just as we were about to leave, we ran into Helga in the parking lot. Talk about the most random thing ever! But it was a nice surprise. I actually thought it was pretty funny…so that was the last of our errands in Teguc. I rode at the back of Gracie’s truck as we drove out of the city, just until we made it to the Texaco. We stopped in Talanga to pick up a package and Gracie had something to give Rosa, then it was finally home sweet home.

It was a looooong day, but since it was also Wednesday, the girls and I got to unwind and watch our tv shows in the classroom. We usually end up staying up pretty late, but it’s always a good way to end the day.

My Source of Strength

July 31

     Would you look at that…It’s the last day of July! Tomorrow marks another month. Yey for August! As most Tuesday’s are, we start out with English class. I gave the girls another set of vocabulary words. We were supposed to have an exam, but I figured none of them had studied, so I postponed it to Thursday.

When class was over, I took care of a few things before starting on making sandwiches for the high school class. Today was Jen’s turn to teach. She had quite a bit to cover but she did really good with time, especially considering she wasn’t feeling very well.

     Once we got home, I was feeling unusually tired and I guess my introverted side was coming out, so I had to retreat to my room for a little while. It was kind of an unusual day actually. I was feeling pretty low. I don’t know why but I started thinking about a lot of things from my past…mistakes, regrets, insecurities, and I really don’t know what spurred all that but it gave me a pretty heavy heart. I’ve had quite a bit of time to reflect on a lot of things. In some sense though, I think that’s been really good because I’m pretty much entering a new chapter in my life being done with school and all. But I could do without days like this when I’m reminded of my shortcomings. I think I’ve just reached a point where I feel like I don’t have much left in me, and these are moments when Satan can really mess with your head. I was telling Jen that it’s going to be by God’s strength and grace that I get through these last two weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything and I have definitely grown a lot from my time here, but I guess two months is a little too much for me at this point. Which reminds me, we also turned in our papers this morning. I basically talked about how the power of Christ in me is what gives me the strength and ability to confront my weaknesses and conquer them. Coincidently, I needed a lot of that today…Thankfully, I belong to a God who sustains me and continues to be my source of strength and comfort.

Special Delivery: Food and Prayers

July 30

     Today was food distribution day. We started out a little rough though. Well at least for me anyway. Heydi came to me asking how we would decide who among the girls would go when. The plan was to make 4 trips, 2 in the morning and 2 in the afternoon. We would take one girl with us each time, so Heydi suggested we draw lots. I told her I would only number the papers from 1 to 3 since Melissa would be in class all morning, so it was understood that she would go in the afternoon. Apparently that upset Heydi and she was insisting that I made 4. I tried to explain to her that it didn’t make sense to do that, but she was being stubborn and started saying that she didn’t want to go. Unfortunately, that pretty much set my mood for the rest of the day. I was in a rather irritable mood. It’s interesting though how earlier that morning during our mentor time we were talking about the importance of dealing with our own stuff before dealing with other people. How we feel inside can greatly affect our interaction with other people. I think it was good that I was reminded of those things early on because I was then very careful to not let me mood cause me to say or do anything that I would regret. I had to keep my cool…

     We packed up our backpacks with bags of food and cans of green beans and headed out with Milagro for our first trip. We decided to go to the families that we listed on our first survey trip two weeks ago. The families were very welcoming and grateful for the little we had to give them. We even got front row seats to a live concert! Haha! One of the men at the first house we visited was a missionary who played several instruments in different churches, so Evelin asked him if he could play us a song. He was put on the spot, but was kind enough to do so.

     After each house we visited we asked if the family has any specific prayer request and we prayed for them. We were running short on time though after our first trip, so we decided to save the rest for the afternoon. Once we were through with lunch, we set out for round 2! This time we went and visited the families that Jen and I listed when we were out on our challenge. It was a good reminder of how God showed up that day. Heydi went with us this time. I’m not sure what she thought of all of that, but I hope it had some kind of impact on her. Whether it did or didn’t though, it was still seed.

     On our way to the families that lived quite a ways behind the Catholic Church, we passed by Mercedes’ house, not knowing it was her house until we saw her. She invited us in and we visited with her a little bit. The timing was perfect because it started raining not long after we got there. God was watching out for us, no doubt.

     Once we were through with that trip we figured it was too late to make another one, so we were done for the day. Total, I think we gave out 16 bags of food. I think it was good for the girls to be a part of this. Hopefully it opens their eyes to see how blessed they really are to have what they have here. I know that’s what it does for me.