Everything Is Seed

July 9

Guess what I got to do today? I got to go with Gracie and Alicia for Milagro’s ultrasound! It was my first time to see a baby ultrasound. It’s amazing seeing what technology can do these days. We even got to see and hear the baby’s heart beating. It was a pretty emotional experience, but I can’t even begin to imagine what was going on in Milagro’s head. What’s it like being a 14-year old girl staring at the life inside you, but also remembering that you wouldn’t be pregnant in the first place if it wasn’t for the rape (Milagro was dragged into a field by 3 men and raped). However, I did see a glimpse of joy in her eyes…I do hope and pray that she comes to love that baby for the blessing he/she is (we’re not sure yet if it’s a girl or boy, but the Dr. said it’s very likely to be a girl). Often times girls who get pregnant through such situations come to resent their child because they associate the child with the abuse. One of our girls, Heydi still struggles with that sometimes. She has this battle within her every time she looks at baby Christopher. She loves him, but still has a hard time detaching that association. The same is true for Karla. When she is with Alejandro, you can tell that she sincerely loves him, but she even admitted to us that she hates looking at him knowing that he is both her son and her brother at the same time (Karla was raped by her own father).

As you can see, the girls were are ministering to are very broken and Satan can easily use that to manipulate us into thinking that there’s not much we can do for them because the damage has already been done. But that’s all a lie, because it is when you are so broken that God can work in your life even more. I’ll admit, some days it is hard to believe that we’re making a difference in their lives, but as Gracie would say, “everything you do or don’t do is seed”. All He needs us to do is plant them and nourish them, but ultimately, He will make them grow.